Reshaping our relationships.

Think of a time a teacher has influenced you. What is that time? What happened and how has that left a mark on you. Throughout the world, the teacher parent relationship is seen to be a key relationship and integral to the success of not only the child, but also the peer group, the school, and perhaps the district as a whole. Not long ago, when working in Beijing as Principal of a BC Certified Offshore School, I observed with keen interest the clear relationship that existed between the teacher, myself, the Principal, and the parents.  Parents and teachers worked in conjunction, as accomplices, solidly focused on helping a child grow intellectually as well as socially and emotionally. The force was a strong one. Teachers advised and parents followed through on the advice. Our education systems are vastly different, so I am not purporting that one is better then the other, merely offering observation.

Here in North America, the relationship can be less clear at times. I like to think that parents feel engaged and welcomed in our schools, and hope they know they are key players in child development. But what has happened over the past years, has made it difficult for parents to even engage in the school process. When the darn old COVID slammed headlong into us, we all retreated into survivor mode. We washed hands, donned masks, pivoted, clicked on our zoom buttons, all the while trying to keep up with our numeracy and literacy goals. And now, here we are two years later, slowly peeking out to see if it is safe come out and play. And now it is time to rewrite the script and reengage our parent community.

At the end of each day 350 students are gently led out of the building to eagerly awaiting parents and caregivers. And many are sure to stay a minimum of twenty feet away from any exit door. This, unfortunately, is the new norm. School and the classrooms have been closed off to parents for almost two solid years, and now, many parents aren’t even sure what their child’s teacher looks like. Our work is clear.

In her book, Teacher’s These Days,   Dr. Jody Carrington, whom I have written about before  writes about re connecting and recommitting to relationships.  We must be intentional in what those relationships look like, and this was the topic of our most recent school community book club. What are the rules of engagement for communicating and developing good parent/teacher relationships? How do we help parents navigate ‘the system’ and communicate in our brave new world? How do we recognize the ‘baggage’ parents are coming to school with, and if we do, how can we traverse THAT chasm? We are in a place where we can shape or refine our parent teacher relationship. It will take work, but the rewards are huge.

We had three big questions that we covered today; what is the role of the parent/teacher relationship, what does a good parent/teacher relationship look like, and what are the rules of engagement? Everyone went around the room and recalled a time when a teacher influenced them, and the conversations were profound. And here is what we have it boiled down to: From Mr. Rogers; “If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you are to people, you can never even dream of.” The work of the educator is immense. Tread gently.